Dear Mr Volvo driver.....

* Warning to readers - due to the frustration of this subject please excuse all language contained with-in *

So I have to ask - is it a requirement of all Volvo Drivers that when they purchase their vehicles they also receive a frontal labotomy?  Or am I the only person on the face of the planet that has frustration with a capital F everytime I seem to get behind a Volvo Driver?

The reason I ask this question is because as I was driving yesterday to drop off Senior Koukette at one pool & manage to get myself across to the other pool to dump Junior Koukette we get behind a Volvo Driver.  Now I do not have lots of time in between drop-offs & my routine is like a well oiled machine....obviously unlike the life of a bloody Volvo driver!!  As my frustration was reaching fever point I realised that every Volvo driver I seem to get behind is the same, there are road rules for Volvo drivers then there are the road rules for everyone else.

You know the ones....you stop at the traffic lights, they turn green and for everyone else that means GO!!  Who fricken knows what green means to a Volvo driver because it does not mean GO.  It seems to mean I will sit here for as long as I like day dreaming, while the crazy, psychopathic woman behind me continues to go red in the face, punching her steering wheel and abusing me.  I know you can see me in your rear vision mirror and yet you continue to sit there like you are the only one on the God Dam road!!

So I have to ask you Volvo Drivers :-

• Why does the speed sign say 80 for everyone else but in your head it says 40?
• Why do you insist on putting a manky old hat on the back window of your car?
• Why does the fucking green light not mean green to you, and then you remember to move when it is on Amber?
• Why does everyone else have to indicate but you think you above that and like to keep all other drivers guessing which way you are turning

I think all car manufacturers should install a "Volvo Driver Alert Button".  Instead of my horn just tooting it allows my car to yell out inbuilt profanities reserved only for Volvo Drivers.

Like:-

• If you don't move your car I will ram that manky old hat up your ass
• THE LIGHT IS GREEN - MMMMMOOOOOVVVE!!
• For fuck sake are you fricken blind?
• The Speed limit it 80 not 40!!
• Obnoxious, selfish Driver in front - MMMMMOOOOVVVVE
• Oh feel free to take your time I have all fucking day!

Now I am not condoning road rage of any kind.  But the next time I get behind a Volvo Driver I am going to sit there, hand ready on my horn and hope to God it does more than just toot!

"Does anyone else find Volvo Drivers seem to think they have Road Rules reserved just for them?"

Lady Koukou x