Take special note - THEY DON'T!! They just become more precise in their tactical moves.
Since the Koukettes started walking and talking they have at certain times done things that have either make me chringe or have made my whole body a bright shade of violet. It is a moment only a Mum can relate to when your four year old screams at the top of their lungs in the middle of Coles "Mum I need a Poo!! I SAID I NEED A POOO!".
Or in the middle of a bank having a 6 year old ask "Mum why were you and Dad wrestling again in your bed today?" while a 70+ year old woman is looking at you with that smirk on their face! You know the one, the one when they look at your children with such a sorrowful look as if to say "Oh sweet child what sort of sordid house do you live in?"
Yesterday as I was trying my hardest to hide on the toilet, I was disturbed by Junior Koukette yelling from the front door "Mum there is someone at the door for you" I sitting on my throne think to myself "Of course there is someone at the door - why wouldn't there be someone at the door. Some natural disaster of catastrophic proportions always happens as soon as I assume position on my throne!"
I decided to ignore Junior Koukette - wrong move!! She knew she had me, she knew I would be concentrating hard, pants around my ankles, trying to get 5 minutes of peace and like a stealth bomber she launched!
"MUMMMM HURRY UP ON THE TOILET THERE ARE MEN AT THE DOOR WAITING FOR YOU!!!" in a voice so not just the men at the door would hear but the whole street would know Lady Koukou is sitting on her throne.
"Men at the door?' Well now my mind was wandering, could it be Edward Cullen and his band of vampires here to finally collect me and make me forever immortal? No stupid woman that stuff only happens next door! Now what do I do? Pull up my pants, go out there grab her by the ear and drag her into her room for disturbing my 5 minutes peace all while smiling politely at the men at my door? Or sit there - oh to be spoilt for choices!!
So what do I do - decide to ignore her again. You would think all those times in the Bank or Coles would of come back to remind me that you cannot ignore a Koukette on a mission! But I continue to sit in the bleak hope something I might of taught her over the years would have sunk in - when Mum is on the toilet please leave her alone!!
But no - "MUMMMMM HURRRRY UPPPPP"
My quiet little world had now been shattered "OMG I am on the God Dam fricken toilet!!!" I yelled back. Feeling proud of my assertive parenting I continued to sit quietly on my throne and enjoy my peace.
Silence at the front the door!
I heard her quiet little Ninja feet sneaking back down the hallway. I finished my not so peaceful moment, walked out of the bedroom to be greeted by a man's voice "Excuse me Madam we are from the local Church of Latter Day Saints and are holding a parental bonding session aimed specifically at teaching Parents the skills to communicate to their Teenagers, perhaps you might be interested in attending?"
"No I don't think I need that - I have a great open form of communication with my daughters" I said.
"Yes we heard" he said to me.
"Then you would also agree that I am fine. Please don't come to my door again" I closed the door and stormed down the hallway to find my little stealth bomber, who looked at me, smiled and said "Next time don't ignore me Mum"
So if you are the Mother of young children who have also given you some of those 'special' moments along the way.......look forward, it does not get better, they just become so much better at it!
Lady Koukou x
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