No 'Little Johnny' you cannot have a pack of Tim Tams!!

After declaring I had lost my virginity to Aldi I had to defect back over to the dark side this morning and go into Coles.

Standing at the Deli waiting like the rest of the sheep, there was a Young Mum there with a wee little one sound asleep in the pram and a toddler.  The wait was a long one, the 'puffer vest' clan clashed with the bus from the Retirement Home, so the Deli was three deep.

Little Johnny was harping on about wanting the pack of Tim Tams he saw, Mum was saying 'no not today you had enough at Nan's'.  Obviously not one to back down from a fight Little Johnny become more insistent with his demands which was met with a blank stare from Mum.  Other toddlers would of been proud with what was about to happen and 'Little Johnny' proceeded with the Tantrum from hell closely resembling devil child reincarnate.  If they ever do a re-make of Poltergeist 'Little Johnny' should audition I was waiting for his mouth to froth and his head to start spinning.  

Whilst giving his best Pavarotti impersonation the 'puffer vest' and 'blue rinse' clans were flashing their evil eyes at the young mother who was trying her best to tame her wild beastly boy.  I could not help but think 'had all the Botox and Rollers made these women completely forget life with a toddler in a Supermarket that just beckons them at every turn?'  Sure I accept the human mind is designed to block out horrific events, but can't people try to remember what it was like?  

We all know most toddlers need to be approached as you would a mad mad wired with explosives.  The method usually involves a combination of threats, entreaties and bribery.  It is really much like the US Policy in Pakistan - completely ineffective.  Bribery become the Young Mum's method of choice and tried a peace offering - "Oh look here is your Transformer.  He wants to play with you."

This ploy, of course, was met with brief silence and Little Johnny forgot his tantrum while considering his love for his Transformer.  The silence was brief, this little ninja new his stuff and his new eruption was lethal!

"I WANT TIM TAMS NOW!!!"     

Everyone could now comprehend what bought on this tantrum, 'Little Johnny' wanted to stuff his cute little face with Tim Tams around the Supermarket while Mum shopped.  In true three year old style he threw himself face-forward on the ground and was quickly turning blue.   Life must of seemed so unfair in Johnny's world, first his Mum told him no to the treats and secondly Mum was ordering Ham's and Salami's instead of paying him attention - such an unjust world!  

The 'puffer vest' clan were staring at the crime scene, the head shaking was catching, the rolling of the eyes simultaneous and the tut-tutting rising like a mist over the Deli.  There really is no other place as lonely as being that parent with a toddler in complete meltdown, it feels like the whole world is condemning you and everyone has an opinion.

From the looks on the 'puffer vest' clan their children must have been fucking perfect.  Their houses must resemble a scene from the 'Sound of Music',  children lined up in order of height, hair combed, perfect manners, awaiting the chance to chant in unison "Welcome home Papa" before disappearing to do homework.  Yes this description also resembles my house.........and then pigs fly across the room and Gillard wins the next election!

As the young Mum continued to ignore 'Little Johnny' the whispers begun.  See at this point the 'puffer vest' and 'blue rinse' clans all agreed on one thing, that bad parenting was taking place and they each would of had a different idea on how this situation should of been handled.  Some would of been mumbling 'you shouldn't bring toddlers to a Supermarket', others would of been saying 'why doesn't she just smack the child?' while others would of been saying 'she only threatened to smack him or take his Transformer off him.......that's the problem!'.  Everyone is an expert at the scene of a tantrum.

Yet as I stood there I could not help but wonder what they would of been saying to each other if 'Little Johnny' had gotten his own way and was standing there with a pack of Tim Tams shoving them down his throat one after the other.  "Oh he is on the path of obesity"..........."What kind of mother gives her child a whole pack of Tim Tams?"..........."some parents will let their children do anything they want".........."this new age parenting style is doomed".

You just can't please everyone all the time.

The Mum soon finished at the Deli, looked at "Little Johnny" and said 'have you finished your performance yet?  I am leaving here now, if you want come with me, if not stay here til you are finished.  Before you ask "NO" you are not having Tim Tams'

Bravo to the Mum for not giving into a tantrum and stares of the 'puffer vest' and 'blue rinse' clans!!  Better luck next time 'Little Johnny'